Today we wrap up January, Sturdy readers. How did it go for you? I’ll be honest. I haven’t written about it here, but it’s been a hard month for me. Winter is never my season. The cold. The darkness. None of it charges my batteries. It’s no wonder, then, that over the past week I found myself listening to this week’s Music Monday selection on repeat whether walking, sitting at my desk, or dancing in the kitchen. There are none of the horns, funky beats, or electronic hooks that I usually fall for, but “Someday” by OneRepublic is hopeful, steady, and makes me feel like I’m on the right track… all I need to do is keep going. I’d never heard it before it popped up on my Pandora, but as soon as I realized I was bopping my head, clapping my hands, and finally breaking it down to the refrain, I knew it would be the the musical glue for my week.
Somedays I’m treading water and feel like it’s getting deepOneRepublic “Someday”
Some nights I drown in the weight of the things that I think I need
Sometimes I feel incomplete, yeah
Do you ever feel like that, Sturdy readers? Maybe you had some Sunday Scaries yesterday and already feel anxious about your inbox and to-do list? Hold on. The beat is about to pick up.
Oh, you say someday when we’re olderOneRepublic “Someday”
We’ll be shining like we’re gold
Won’t we? (Won’t we?)
Yeah, someday when we’re older
I’ll be yours, and you’ll be mine, babe, happy
Oh, you say someday when we’re older
We won’t worry about the things that we don’t need
Yeah, one day down the line
Before we both run out of time
You’re gonna see
That someday we’ll be all that we need
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Ok, Sturdy reader, who do you assume they are talking about when they say “we”? A romantic partner? What if the we is really more of a me? That’s how I listen to it. Growing up with undiagnosed lipedema, I learned to be in constant battle with my body. Why are YOU doing this to me? Why can’t YOU just cooperate?! My body wasn’t me. It was something external and insolent, something to be disciplined, fought, and ultimately corrected.
But of course, my body is me and the past year I have been on a journey to reconcile the years of abuse I waged on her. Part of that has been reminding myself that my body and I are a we not a me and a you.
With that in mind, scroll back up and re-read those lyrics.
“Someday we’ll be all that we need.” Take a big breath and let that soak in. Could someday be today? Could you make peace with yourself and your body right here and right now on a Monday? Press play and let those beats soak in. We are sturdy. We are strong. We are all that we need to light this world on fire.