adf – Sturdy Woman

This week I hit a huge milestone that I never imagined I’d see when I started keto in October 2020. I am officially in onederland. That’s right, a few days ago I stepped on the scale and was out of the 200s – and solidly there at that. I finished a big work project a few days ago and had a huge whoosh when my body let go of all the stress. I’m a lipedema woman so, generally, weight doesn’t mean a lot to me, but this felt like a big deal.

The last time I remember a scale reading less than 200 pounds was before I left for Liberia in 2011 (more about that here). That’s 11 years. For a long time, my body has felt like an enemy, something uncooperative, unpredictable, and unattractive. Now that I understand what she is struggling with, I know how to support my body and I appreciate how damn hard she works every day. Even at my lowest weight in 2010, I look back and can see the puffiness in my face and legs. The one I was fighting the most ended up being the one who needed the most help and compassion. I was sick and had no idea.

What’s gotten me here? I give most of the credit to keto and fasting. I do less than 20g total carbs each day and I periodically alternate day fast (read more about that in my Fasting February series). No cheating ever. Not one day. Not one bite. Nothing. The longer I have been keto the easier it has gotten – I can even watch The Great British Baking Show without crying. Yes, I gave up a lot of foods, but I have gained so much. Finally free from the endless up and down cycle of carbs and hunger, I no longer feel cravings or an emotional connection to food. So what if I have lipedema? I am free.

That’s the inspiration for today’s Music Monday pick, Free by Rudimental. Yes, lipedema turned my life upside down, but lipedema also gave me back an even better life. In one word it gave me my freedom. The sky is the limit. I’m flying.

Whoa, c’est la vie
maybe something’s wrong with me
But, whoa, at least I’m free
Rudimental “Free”

Sturdy Reader, what’s holding you down? What do you worry is ‘wrong’ with you? Could you dare to put it down? Take a bold step with me today and, like the guy in the video, jump off the cliff and fly.

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Tomorrow I will complete my month-long alternate day fasting (ADF) challenge. I intend to continue at least a few more weeks because I feel so good, but a month is worth pausing to celebrate. I fasted for 12 days this month! This week also marks a second month of being dairy free since non-dairy January rolled right into February. Fasting and going dairy-free both seemed like formidable challenges at the beginning, but it turned out that starting was the hardest part. This has me reflecting on what it takes to build successful habits and what it is about a one-month timeframe that works so well for me.

It turns out it isn’t necessarily about the timeframe. The internet is full of people stating that 21 days is the ideal window to form a habit, but the research is mixed, with habit formation taking longer than that for many. It’s individual. Interestingly, Harvard Business Review emphasizes the importance of building routines to support habits and I suspect that is why my challenges are so successful.

I didn’t plan it this way, but both my challenges had a foundation in routine. Fasting is literally a routine. I do it on specific days of the week and I’ve developed separate – enjoyable – routines that cue me those days are different. I may feel reluctant and grouchy when I first wake up, but once I have my black coffee and saltshaker out, I remember what’s going on and easily fall in line. When I went dairy free, I unintentionally (but luckily) planned it not to disrupt my routine. I got all the dairy out of the house and literally put alternatives exactly in their place. The almond milk went right where the heavy cream had been, so even on autopilot I was set up for success. A good routine creates the guardrails necessary to support a behavior becoming a habit and a month is a nice chunk of time to settle into a new or revised routine.

A month also gives you enough time to stumble into some sticky situations, which will test your commitment to your new routine and goal. Fasting is a sure-fire way to raise eyebrows and I tend to follow the Fight Club model… The first rule of Fasting Club is, don’t talk about fasting. The second rule of Fasting club is, don’t talk about fasting. I can count on one hand the people in my inner circle who know I fast and all of them also know about my challenges with lipedema and lymphedema.

A few weeks ago, I got together with my co-coworkers for an in-person farewell party on one of my designated fasting days. During planning, talk quickly and inevitably turned to food. As soon as I could interject into the conversation I simply said, “Food is actually really complicated for me, but I’d be happy to help plan a game or something else fun for us to do.” That’s all it took and, in my experience, once I say I have food restrictions people get a little uncomfortable and don’t pry too much further. If they do, remember you never owe anyone an explanation for why you aren’t eating something. For the farewell party I ended up buying a box of donuts (some people wanted those) and a jug of black coffee. No one said anything about me only drinking coffee and we had fun playing the game. Social situations often involve food, but don’t have to revolve around food. Ask for and plan for what you need in such situations to minimize surprises and set yourself up for success.

What helps you build routines and habits, Sturdy Readers? Do you plan to take on any new challenges in March? Drop me a note in the comments and be sure to sign up for updates to see what new challenge I take on next.